From the Mammogram to the Biopsy

Day Six - Wednesday

At this point, I have not said a thing to my children. I don’t want them to worry about things that may or may not be. Even though they are in their thirties, they are still my babies and I try to protect them all I can. Which is stupid, but I do. I will tell them when I get the results and know what it is. Good or bad. Then we can all get our spirits together and help each other. Right now, I would just be asking them to wait and worry and worrying wears down the soul. We’ll save the worrying for later, if we have to.

My appointment for my first mammogram EVER was at 10:40, so I was about ½ an hour early and Kat was about 5 minutes late. We’re funny that way; each of us with our own little quirks that kind of meld together.

The mammogram went better than I had expected. I had visions of torture chambers in my head, but it was alright and there was even a teddy bear I could hold. After a glimpse of the mammogram, they did a sonogram. My FIRST sonogram. (Just one big day of firsts.) The radiologist reminded me of a 50’s version of a Yale graduate and it was all I could do to keep from laughing.

After a review of all the pics, they wanted me to come back and do a biopsy. Actually two biopsies – the normal one and one to check out some calcified spots. All this is on my left breast; nothing shows up other than the lump and the calcifications, so I take that as a good sign. I make the appointment for the biopsies for the following Monday. Change back into my clothes and Kat and I go to have coffee.

Day Seven, Eight, and Nine – Thursday, Friday, and Saturday

Not much going on. Normal stuff, like housework and grocery shopping. I talk to Randy a lot on the phone and decide that I want to get my genealogy caught up and work on the journal I’m making for Amy. All of a sudden, my brain is saying I need to get these things caught up. I went through this before and I’m trying to think if it’s just something everyone does after they find a lump or if I truly know that something is wrong. All this time, I’ve thought only that I had a lump, but all of a sudden I think it could actually be Cancer again and I begin getting “my affairs” in order. Seemed like the natural thing to do. I also wrote out a new “bills to be paid list” and finished the squares for my granny square afghan. I guess, if nothing else, the lump has made me finish projects all over the house.

Day Ten - Sunday

I went to church with Boneda and Robert at 7:40 am. Didn’t like it. It felt more like a production number for a little theater than a church service. I won’t go again, but I would like to test out a couple more churches on Sundays when Randy isn’t home. He hates church. Something that happened to us a long time ago he just can’t drop, but that’s him – not me.

I spent the rest of the day with the Andersons watching football and shopping. I laughed a lot, which is exactly what I needed.

At Kohl’s, I spotted a necklace with the pink crystal cancer ribbon on it and told myself not to buy it. No need for that now. Don’t even know what this is yet.

Day Eleven - Monday

Biopsy day! I spent the morning cleaning the kitchen and such. Kat came out to pick me up. We had a fast lunch and headed back into town. I popped a Xanax in the parking lot. As soon as I walked into the building my blood pressure went through the roof, my face was all red and the nurse was surprised at how high it was. After talking to me for a long time about exactly what they were going to be doing, my blood pressure dropped and my Xanax kicked in. I was in a happy place.

First procedure, I felt like a 1955 Buick that was lifted up so they could work on it. My left boob was sticking through a hole in the table and I had to lie still while they probed and poked and stuck needles in me. It wasn’t much fun, but way better than the other biopsies I had endured.

After this one, I was whisked away to another room for the next one. Much easier, much less time.

The radiologist who performed both biopsies was great; caring, concerned, calm. She told me she wouldn’t have the results until Thursday and I should call my doctor then.

I was sent home with an ice pack on my breast and instructions not to do anything tonight and most of tomorrow. Kind of hard to do when you basically live alone. I made some tomato soup and a really good grilled cheese sandwich for dinner and settled in with my ice pack to spend the evening watching TV.