Update as Life Goes On

Morning of March 26 – Life Goes On

It’s been over a month since my surgery and I may be adjusting to the absence of my breasts. The horror factor is gone, but the shock factor still remains a little. I am able to look at my chest a little closer and for longer periods of time. I do, however, still have moments when I just can’t believe I gave the okay to take them. Justification aside – I am a double amputee. I don’t wear the phony pillows in my camisoles, but I do wear the camisoles. I feel more covered up. All in all, most days I’m fine. No depression or second thoughts about our decision, but some days the bad thoughts creep into my head and I have to remember all the good news associated with the loss. It gets easier.

I have my second appointment with my plastic surgeon on April 4^th. We’ll see what he says about how soon I can have the first surgery and recovery time, etc. I’m hoping we can start by my birthday, but I’ll let him tell me.

In the meantime, I haven’t just been sitting around lamenting the loss of my boobs. I am trying to stay on a “diet”, but calling it a “diet” is a good way to not stay on it – at least for me. I’m cutting down on carbs and sugars and eating more proteins. First week I lost 3 pounds and my blood sugar went down 25 points.

This week I started my new job. My expensive degree has gotten me nowhere and I needed a job that didn’t fire me when I took off to have my surgeries and recovery. We don’t need much money, just enough to pay for our vacation this year and the extra expense incurred by the new Jeep. My daughter drives a taxi and she suggested that I try it.

First day went fairly well. I had classroom training and a two hour ride with a trainer, but I still felt all alone out there. I called my trainer three times and each time he sounded a little more miffed, so I called my daughter. I am leasing the Prius from the cab company at a charge of $80 per day. I pay for gas and to have it washed every day. Each call that comes to me via my on-board computer costs me $2.45 unless it’s a voucher. Vouchers are paid for by the state (I believe) and the call charge is only $.50, but the amount I get paid is less than ½ of what actually shows up on the meter. My first day, I had a positive balance of over $100.

Second day was horrible. Started with a kid who worked at a call center by the airport. I asked if he wanted to take the I-19 or the I-10 route. He said I-19 was fine, but when I went that way, he said that I was going the wrong way. Then we got stopped by a train making him 5 minutes late for work. (Actually, his fault because he made me wait 15 minutes at his location.) By the time we got there, the fare was $37.95. I said I would take off $5.00 because I went the wrong way. He gave me $25.00 and said “It never costs me more than $30 for this trip and I’m 5 minutes late!” Argh!

And it continued to go downhill from there. Very slow plus rude people and people who thought I was their personal driver. I stopped to get gas and a car wash and as I was driving out of the car wash, it started to rain! It all ended by having to bring the taxi in early for an oil change. I don’t know if I actually made any money yesterday, I haven’t even done the math yet.

The good thing about this job is I can take today off to let the bad juju vibes go away and try again tomorrow. I will never work Friday, Saturday, or Sunday because Randy is home. Since I’m not trying to support myself or my family, I have much more freedom with my schedule and time. Even though I had a bad day, I think it’ll all work out.

After all my surgeries are over, I’ll start looking again for a job in my field. I hear the economy is picking up. Maybe someone will hire me now. You just never know.