New Year's Eve

Day Twenty-Six – Tuesday – New Year’s Eve

Randy left this morning (he’s a truck driver) for God only knows how long. I’m trying not to make him feel guilty about not being here, but it comes out and he knows it. I would love to be one of those people who says, “Don’t worry about anything with me, I’ve got it covered!” But the truth is, even though I am a very strong woman, I need him for moral support. He is my foundation and without him, I am just not stable. I do tell him that the only appointments I want him here for – no matter what – are the ones with the surgeon. If I have to have Chemo (oh, God forbid) he needs to think about finding a job closer to home. And he has to be here when I have my surgery, that’s a given. I’m strong, but I’m not that strong.

The oncologist’s office calls and I get their last appointment for the month of January. It’s a week before my next appointment with the surgeon, so I hope we can get all that she wants done before his appointment.

I look up a few things on the internet:

1.       I can’t do the MRI without sedation. I saw a picture of the tube and there is no way I’m going to make it in there for thirty minutes. Hell, I put on a full face motorcycle helmet once and panicked. I’m just a tiny bit claustrophobic.

2.       Tri-Care will cover breast reconstruction for one or both breasts, even if the second breast is for preventative purposes. They also cover Mastectomy bras and wigs.

3.       HER2/NEU is a gene that carries cancer through the body. If this test is positive I will have to have a special kind of Chemo to kill it.

Anyway, I’m invited to my husband’s sister’s house for dinner. Wonderful food and a margarita. Lots of conversation. Really a good evening until his other sister says she is sick and has to leave. She spent the whole night throwing up at her home. Not the best way to “ring in the new year”. And I find myself worrying about what she has and hope that I don’t get it. Is that selfish?

I leave shortly after she does. I’m in bed by nine. Man, do I know how to party or what?