Monday, April 7, 2014

Natural is Better



Fifteen Days Post Surgery – Saturday

For all who were sitting on the edge of their seats (and for those who think I share way too much), the question of sex after mastectomy has been answered to everyone’s satisfaction. Moving on…..

This morning, we decided to go have breakfast and then to Wal Mart for a huge shopping trip. This simple decision turned into so much more. It went something like this.

I purchased two mastectomy camisoles before my surgery and the doctor “gave” me one. The one I was “given” was a size medium (a size I have not won since I was in high school). However, it was soft and worked well to hold the drains (it came with little pockets – very ingenious). It is also made of very stretchy material and I can wear it comfortably without feeling like I’ve been put into a sausage casing. The other two purchases were not as smart, but I felt necessary because you can’t have just one undergarment. The first one I purchased from the American Cancer Society. It has Velcro from top to bottom along with those wonderful pockets for the drains. The second one I purchased is a silky, feminine, flowing cami with no pockets for drains. I tell you all this to say that I believe I wasted $100 on camis.

So, back to the shopping trip. I decided that I couldn’t go out in public without some sort of disguise in the breast area. I was so afraid people would stare. I stuffed my beautiful cami with a set of forms that were filled with pillow stuffing. The form is a triangle shape with the bigger part at the bottom of where my breast should have been to the smaller part at the top where my shoulder is. Hmmm. That should have been my first clue because I know of no actual breast that starts at the shoulder. None the less, I tried on several blouses and decided on one before heading out the door. Every time I sat down my breast forms would ride up, so it appeared as if I was wearing a pillow near my neck. People must have thought I had narcolepsy or something because I had a pillow in place just in case I spontaneously fell asleep. They moved from left to right. They wouldn’t stay where they were placed and I was constantly adjusting them – in public. If I was worried about causing people to stare because I have no breasts, I shouldn’t have been. I did, however, cause more than a few heads to turn when I adjusted my pillows at the table while eating breakfast. Argh.

After eating breakfast, we went to Randy’s sister’s house to see her beautiful new backyard and they invited us to watch a very funny movie. Boneda said the pillows looked just fine and couldn’t understand why I was so uncomfortable with them, until I sat down, then got back up went to the bathroom to adjust, then repeat. After leaving Boneda’s house, we stopped by Randy’s parents’ house to talk and the minute I walked in the door I asked Mom if she had a bag I could use. I headed straight back to the bathroom, took off my blouse, took off the cami, pulled the pillows out, put the cami and blouse back on, checked myself in the mirror, put the pillows in the bag, and sat down to talk for a while. I felt so much better.

Then we ate lunch, went to Kohl’s, and then at about 4:30 we were at Wal Mart for the big shopping trip that I left the house to do at 9:00 that morning. At about 5:30, I climbed into the passenger seat of the car, buckled up and fell asleep – kind of wished I still had my pillows on so my head would be more comfortable.

I remember when my hair fell out during my first bout with cancer. I would come home from work and take my wig off as I was walking from my car to the front door. As soon as I had a sprout of hair, I stopped wearing the wig and donated it to the American Cancer Society.

Lesson learned – natural is always better. Until I get the new breasts that won’t move around, the public will just have to live with my concave chest. I think everyone will be more comfortable.

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