Second Surgery Has Been Scheduled

Afternoon of April 9

Sorry I haven’t been keeping up with this. I don’t know why. I guess things have just been going along and I’ve been going along with the flow. So, I owe you some information.

We saw the plastic surgeon on the 4^th. Randy liked him, I liked him, we decided to use his tremendous skills to give me back what Cancer took from me. He said his office staff would call me soon to schedule the surgical appointment.

Heather, my plastic surgeon’s assistant, called this morning. She said we could do the surgery in two weeks. I looked at my calendar and decided I didn’t want to be in the recovery mode on my 59^th birthday. So, we tentatively scheduled it for May 1 with a follow-up appointment a week later.

I will eventually be fitted with silicone implants. I’m looking for a C cup, but we’ll see how much my chest can withstand and stretch. But first, I have to have breast expanders inserted to form a pocket that will hold the implants. That will be the first surgery. After a couple of weeks, the plastic surgeon will add more saline with a needle into the expander until the correct size is reached. I will than wait about a month to have the surgery to take out the expander and put in the silicone implant. Rome wasn’t built in a day. I have a feeling, I’ll be more sore this time around and it probably won’t be all over until about August or September.

As for nipple reconstruction, it can fail and flatten, but it can also be just fine. The chances are about 50/50 – so I’ll give it a try. The doctor says that the nipple is the cherry on the sundae – first we have to make the perfect sundae that I’m happy with and then he’ll put on the cherry. Next comes the tattoo to add color to the nipple and the areola. If the nipple does flatten, at least the color will be there. The good thing about this tattoo is that I won’t feel it.

I’m nervous, yes, but excited. I’ve had Cancer three times and, for me, this one has been the worst. I mean, not because of the Cancer, on that front things couldn’t have been easier. No chemo, no radiation, smooth removal with no complications – you can’t really ask for much more than that. It’s the physical transformation that makes it so very hard. Losing my hair during my first round was kind of like a badge of honor that could be covered up with a hat or a wig when I chose. But losing my breasts has been extremely hard on both of us. It’s a kind of stress that can’t be described and that no one talks about. Logically, we both know this was the right decision – and we say that to each other all the time. But the silence speaks volumes. I believe love will get us through this. I believe we are both great people who have simply had enough. But I don’t believe that slapping on some new boobs is the answer to what is bothering us. We will have to sort that out. We love each other very much, I’m sure there’s a way.

On the job front – I am making minimal money as a taxi driver and on Monday I had to pay out of my own pocket for the privilege of driving one of their cabs. I was pissed. That was my line in the sand and it was crossed. I spoke with the operations manager and he looked at my locations. He says I should go to different areas of town and he is putting together a list of good places and times that have been historically profitable. I feel like he wants me to succeed, but that could just be talk. I do have a love/hate relationship with my passengers. I just have to look at this as a thing I can do to bring in some extra money for the moment. I can work when I am able or want to and no one will fire me when I tell them I am having more surgeries or more doctor’s appointments. For now, I’ll stick it out for the rest of the month and see how much I want to drive after May 1.

Randy had a sinus infection a couple of weeks ago and the medication that he was given caused him to have hives. He’s starting to feel better, but he’s on the mend also.

I found a support group I like very much. It’s meeting tonight and I need to get dressed and go. I promise to try to keep this blog updated more often. Perhaps I’ll have more to talk about once the second surgery is completed. I plan to have Randy take pictures (yes, I’ll be wearing a shirt) before the surgery and each time I have saline injected. I want to track the progress. I’ll post them on the blog.