Ten Days Post Surgery

Ten Days Since the Surgery

Today was the first day I felt really good. I slept well last night, I woke up a little later than usual, and I have zero – zilch – nada pain.

I have been in this house since I came home on Valentine’s Day (except for one small visit to see the doctor and then immediately home) and today I ventured forth. I had a doctor’s appointment to get the other tube out and I got to drive.

Honestly, there are a few things in life that make me feel free. One of those things is driving. It felt great to just open the sun roof, turn up the tunes and smell the air. Since the doctor’s office is on the east side of Tucson, it took a while to get there.

The doctor looked at the places where he removed my breasts and said I was healing incredibly well. He looked at the right side where he had taken the other tube out last week and said it looked great. Then he said “This will feel strange.” And then, “All done.” The tube was out, the dressing was on, and I was ready to go.

When I had my hysterectomy, my instructions for what I could do and when were very specific. For this surgery, it’s been “Don’t do anything that hurts.” But me, being me, I wanted a little more specifics. One never wants to talk with one’s doctor about sex (maybe that’s just me) but I bolstered up all my courage and asked, “When can we have sex again?” He smiled, “When you’re ready. Physically, you’re fine. You’re healing well. You look great. If it hurts, stop. But, you’ll know when you are mentally ready.”

And that is the elephant in the room, “Am I mentally ready?” Nobody can answer that question, but me. I’m not as repulsed by my body as I thought I would be, but I can’t see how anyone (not even the man who loves me more than air) would want to make love looking at what isn’t there anymore. But then, he didn’t go screaming from the room when we took off the bandages, so maybe……. It’s a question we’ll have to answer for ourselves.

After leaving the doctor’s office, I decided to make a couple of pit stops. Yarn was on sale at Michael’s and I needed cream for my coffee. I’m glad I didn’t spend any more time doing errands because now, I’m tired. Like, I feel like I could take a nap, tired. It’s a good tired. One I feel I’ve earned instead of just being tired because of the surgery.

I talk with the Oncologist on Monday, see my surgeon again on Wednesday and then my son his family are coming on Saturday.

After all that, I’ll call the Plastic Surgeon and see when we can start the reconstruction process. I would like to wait a couple of months. I think my brain needs to catch up a little and come to terms with all that has happened before the next step. Plus, my body has been through a major trauma and it needs a little down time.